Really, why do we stigmatize women for needing a helping hand from men?
Pretty much everywhere I scroll now on social media I stumble upon loads of dating advice and goodness, did it make me question everything we’ve been taught.
The advice, mostly dished out by women to fellow women, is downright perplexing and promotes some awfully misguided notions about femininity and masculinity. The overarching lesson they seem to be teaching modern women is this;
“You don’t need anyone to be happy and if one guy doesn’t work out, just move to the next one as there are a million other options waiting in the wings for a quick hookup or a few fun dates.”
What’s missing here is any real guidance on how to date with intention and purpose. Heaven forbid we look for potential partners with the intention of settling down and building a future together. And even more puzzling is the fact that these women don’t seem particularly happy or fulfilled with their dating lives. In fact, they come across as downright miserable.
All of this point to one question: why do we demonize female dependence on men? So, what gives? Why do we shame women for wanting to depend on a man? Can’t we all just admit that sometimes we need a little help and support from someone else?
Where Independence Goes Wrong
Have you ever questioned why society constantly pushes women to prioritize their careers over everything else? And we’re expected to grind away at work during our most productive years, even if it means sacrificing other important aspects of our lives.
Don’t get me wrong, being independent is great. It teaches us valuable life skills and helps us become self-aware and emotionally intelligent. But do we really want to be alone and independent forever? Is that truly fulfilling?
In fact, relying on the right person can inspire us to greatness. Being with the right partner can motivate us to grow, mature, and be the best versions of ourselves. Yet, there’s something “unfeminist” about depending on men or being in a relationship. It’s like we’re supposed to be completely self-sufficient and not need anyone for anything.
But that’s just plain silly. We rely on other adults as children, on friends and family as we grow older, so why not on a spouse as well? It’s time to break free from the idea that total independence is the ultimate goal in life.
We rely on others for emotional support and companionship all the time. So why is it so taboo to rely on a husband for the same things? It’s almost as if we’re conditioned to believe that being independent and single is the only way to truly “make it” as a woman.
Independence is great, but it shouldn’t be the only guiding force in our lives. We don’t have to be superheroes who can do everything on our own. It’s okay to rely on others, and yes, even a partner, for support and companionship. After all, isn’t that what life is all about?
The Age-old Debate of Independence Versus Dependence
While it may seem like the answer is to completely give up any kind of reliance on a partner, the opposite isn’t the solution either.
On one end, you might have a boyfriend or husband foot the bill for fancy dinners. Or being the stay-at-home wife living the life of luxury – waking up when you want, sipping coffee at cute cafes, and being treated to fancy dinners.
But only if people would look closer then they will see a different story – one of loneliness, boredom, a lack of social connections or fulfilment, having no joy or satisfaction in life.
Being financially dependent may seem appealing at first, but what happens if your relationship goes south? If what you’re looking for is emotional fulfillment, relying solely on a partner for that is a recipe for heartbreak.
On the other hand, we live in a world where we’re bombarded with messages about being independent and self-sufficient, it’s easy to forget that no (wo)man is an island. Sure, we all want to feel like we can stand on our two feet, but that doesn’t mean we have to avoid all forms of dependence on others.
And how many others out there are advocating for a strings-free lifestyle while secretly being miserable? The truth is, we’re not meant to exist solely for ourselves, nor are we meant to depend on others in a transactional sense. A fulfilling life lies in finding a balance between self-agency and healthy interdependent relationships. And who wants to live a life devoid of fun, excitement, and social connection?
It’s time to stop buying into the myth of the solitary island-dweller and instead embrace the beauty of connection and partnership. The truth is we’re better together than we are alone.
Choosing Happiness and Fulfillment
Dependence on Men is Not a Dirty Word.
Wanting someone to share your life with doesn’t make you any less of a woman. It’s natural to crave love, companionship, and intimacy, whether it’s within the context of marriage or not. And contrary to popular belief, it’s actually a sign of emotional maturity and strength to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and depend on others.
But let’s address the elephant in the room, many of us have been conditioned to believe that men are not to be trusted, and that relying on them is a recipe for heartbreak and disappointment. While it’s true that some men are not worth our time or trust, it’s also true that there are good, loving men out there who are willing to share their lives with us in a meaningful way.
In fact, dependence on a partner can be the key to long-term happiness and fulfillment. By choosing to give ourselves the gift of companionship and intimacy, we set ourselves up for a lifetime of love and satisfaction.
