TikTok, the birthplace of viral dances, comedic skits, and recently… discussions about the infamous “body count.” It’s become a common term Gen Z uses to keep tabs on how many notches one has on their bedpost.
TikTok users are proudly flaunting their body counts for the world to see, bringing back the age-old controversy on promiscuity.
Promiscuity has become a secret ingredient in the dating recipe book. Just as we consider someone’s political beliefs or religious views, the number of sex in the bedroom can play a role in sizing up a potential partner.
Dating someone with a wild sexual past might throw a monkey wrench into the whole romance game.
What about those fierce women who have embraced the empowering waves of third-wave, postmodern feminism?
They’re hopping on the TikTok trend, aiming to “normalize” high body counts and reclaim their autonomy. Arguing that while they bear no judgment towards others for their bedroom adventures, they find themselves unjustly condemned, usually by men, for their own sexual histories.
Talk about a double standard.
This may not just be a mere observation. Society has its arsenal of disapproving terms for promiscuous women—whore, slut—you name it. But when a man boasts about his conquests, he’s often seen as some sort of hero, fulfilling his primal masculine desires for casual flings.
Can you smell the hypocrisy?
The Unfair Trade-off of Sexual Double Standards
Although Society dishes out much against promiscuous women, it turns out Mother Nature has a say in the romantic escapades too, and unfortunately, it’s not always in favor of women.
Men and women may speak the language of love differently, but when it comes to matters of the heart—or rather, the bed, we’re playing on different fields altogether, and things can get messy.
Men can strut away from a fling feeling on top of the world, while women are more prone to forming emotional attachments, and often find themselves caught in a whirlwind of emotions— rejection, regret, loneliness, and unhappiness.
According to a survey, men reported feeling “confident and happier” after a casual hookup. Meanwhile, the women surveyed expressed feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, rejection, and regret. Ouch! Talk about a post-hookup hangover that’s hard to shake off.
But that’s not all. When it comes to the aftermath, women bear more of the brunt of the burden than men. Emotional fallout, unplanned pregnancies, and the risk of sexually transmitted infections—women face a higher risk. Some untreated infections in women can even lead to fertility issues and lifelong health problems.
To add insult to injury, women have a higher sensitivity to disgust. It influences our choice of partners, having to navigate through this minefield of societal expectations and biological predispositions.
While some may encourage the same carefree attitudes toward casual encounters as our male counterparts, our biological instincts may have a different idea—All this reminding us that women just can’t have sex the same way men can.
Promiscuity Through the Eyes of Men and Women
To the Ladies:
It seems some of us have fallen into the trap of thinking we can handle casual encounters just like the guys. Cue the body count trend on social media, where some of us proudly display our conquests. This misguided belief has actually widened the gap between men and women in the dating world. It might help to dig deeper into how we perceive promiscuity and the implications it has on our relationships.
Now, Gentlemen: before you sharpen your pitchforks, hear us out. It’s completely within your rights to seek a partner who aligns with your values and desires and vice versa. Just as you may not want a sexually adventurous woman as your wife, women have their own preferences too.
But let’s flip the script for a moment. As woman looking forward to a serious relationship or even starting a family someday, isn’t it a tad challenging to date or fall in love with someone knowing they have a colorful past?
The worries start creeping in—will he compare me to his former flames? Will he be faithful? What if one of those ghosts from the past resurfaces? These concerns are all too familiar and bothersome when dating someone with a history of promiscuity.
Promiscuous women may argue that men or the patriarchy are the ones punishing them for their sexually liberated lifestyles. However, science paints a different picture.
Surprise, surprise, it’s women, not men, who tend to be more judgemental of promiscuity. Not only that, but women also dish out more punishment to both sexes for their wild escapades.
In a study, participants were shown photos labeled “sexually available” and “sexually restrictive.” Guess what? Both men and women frowned upon the sexually available subjects, but it was the ladies that had the harshest criticism.
Women have a higher disgust sensitivity compared to men. It’s not just about picking the right dish from a menu, this sensitivity also influences our choices in mates—it also makes us to judge promiscuity more harshly than we might think.
Yes, ladies, our intrinsic response to disgust is deeply intertwined with our views on sex, making us more critical of both promiscuous men and women.
Maybe, It’s Our Own Perception Holding Us Back
The blame game is pointing fingers at the patriarchy for setting women’s liberation back with their condemnation of promiscuity. But it might just be ourselves who are doing more of the damage. Men don’t seem to have strong feelings one way or another when it comes to promiscuity.
There’s Nothing Wrong with Being Sexually Selective
Giving unrestricted sexual access to just about anyone is not exactly a winning strategy. Even though we’re living in a time when we’re encouraged to normalize the abnormal and destigmatize sexual indiscrimination. Being sexually selective actually protects us, both physically and emotionally.
Assuming you’re on a quest to find someone who truly accepts you, who sees you for the wonderful human being that you are. But if you’ve been sharing your intimate moments with hordes of strangers, how is that special someone supposed to feel any different?
Think about it. By being willing to give that part of ourselves to just anyone, we’re undermining our own sense of self-worth and making it harder to find genuine connection.
Being selective is not to be seen as weakness, but rather embrace selectivness as the strength it truly is. It’s not about judgment or prudishness either. It’s about valuing ourselves enough to share our most intimate selves with those who deserve it.
