You didn’t plan to buy another jacket. Or that tote bag you barely remember clicking on. You were just scrolling, again — after a long day, after thinking about rent, your savings, maybe the news. Then it was in your cart. Then on its way to your door. It’s fine, you tell yourself. You’ll return it.

You won’t. You’ll forget. You always do.

This is the logic of stress shopping, the psychology of what we now know as “doom spending.” Not a quirky habit or a way to mock millennials for not buying houses, but a coping mechanism dressed as a hobby, it’s a psychological feedback loop that thrives in modern life. It’s what happens when your stress no longer knows where to go, so it reroutes itself into your fingertips and onto the Buy Now button. Retail therapy though never called that when it’s happening, offers a flicker of relief. And because it does work, at least momentarily, we return to it again and again.

Why Shopping Feels Like a Solution

Stress shopping is what happens when your emotional system short-circuits and your brain reaches for something anything to reassert a sense of control, in evolutionary terms, that meant running or hiding. In modern terms, it means tapping your phone screen and solving a problem in two clicks. “It’s not irrational,” says Dr. Kristina Durante, a consumer psychologist. “It’s one of the few behaviors that gives people a quick resolution when nothing else in their life feels settled.” She calls it a “perceived solution,” not a real one. But when your problems feel unsolvable, perceived solutions are better than none at all.

Shopping activates the brain’s reward centers. It triggers dopamine, the same neurochemical involved in pleasurable experiences like eating, laughing, kissing or checking something off a to-do list. It’s about the momentary high, that high becomes addictive, particularly when your baseline stress levels are constantly elevated. And in the age of one-click ordering, the delay between desire and acquisition has collapsed. There’s no time to sit with the impulse. You can soothe your nerves with a new pair of jeans before you’ve even named what’s upsetting you. 

You’re Not Alone 

Stress spending might be seen as a millennial or Gen Z affliction tied up in memes about iced coffee and branded water bottles. But research shows that older generations are just as susceptible. The difference is how it manifests. A recent survey found that nearly 40% of millennials and Gen Zers shop when they feel emotionally overwhelmed. Older generations do it too, they just might not call it doom spending. They call it “treating themselves” or “retail therapy.” Same habit. Same dopamine hit.

The Cycle That Keeps You Hooked

We all know shopping isn’t exactly bad, and may even be beneficial when used purposefully. Only it’s risky when used as a coping mechanism. The temporary relief of spending can easily turn into another source of stress which then invites more spending.

Survey shows a number of people feel worse after they shop impulsively, when the shame becomes internalized, you think, ‘I’m bad with money,’ or ‘I can’t control myself,’ instead of recognizing that this is your brain trying to cope with real emotional discomfort. Sometimes, shame rarely changes behavior, it reinforces it. If you feel like a failure, you look for comfort. And you’re back where you started.

How to Break the Loop, Without the Guilt

You don’t need to stop shopping, but you need to understand why you’re doing it and find other ways to meet the same emotional need.

One way is to slow the purchase process. First, create a 24-hour rule for all non-essential purchases. Make it harder to act impulsively: uninstall apps, delete saved cards, sign out of your accounts. Friction slows the feedback loop.

Second, write down a list of things you’ve done well that day before you shop. It sounds cheesy, but it works. Studies show that when people feel competent and accomplished, they’re less likely to soothe with spending. Affirming your own efficacy builds the kind of internal security that no new outfit ever could.

If that doesn’t work, you can also take it a step further by challenging yourself to list ten good reasons to buy the thing in your cart. If you struggle after reason five, you’ll probably realize you don’t want it that badly. Let it be your cue to pause.

What You’re Really Trying to Buy

If you look closely enough you might notice that most stress purchases aren’t about utility. They’re about who you want to become: someone who cooks more, writes more, dresses better, moves more confidently. The item is a symbol. A placeholder for a life that feels just out of reach.

This isn’t inherently bad. Aspirational shopping is motivating. But if the gap between your current self and that imagined self keeps widening especially financially—that dissonance can turn toxic. Instead of asking what you want to buy, ask what you’re actually yearning for. Is it rest? Validation? A sense of identity? You might not be able to solve those cravings instantly, but you can name them. That alone is powerful. 

Start Small 

One of the well known effective ways to resist stress spending is to build a relationship with your future self. When people feel connected to who they’ll be in ten years, they make wiser decisions—financially, emotionally, even nutritionally. So visualize that person. Where do they live? What do they wear? How do they feel at the end of the day?

Then ask yourself: what would they want me to do right now?

Not every decision has to serve that future. But more of them can. And that shift from panic to perspective is often enough to change the next click.