The day I really started to get a grip on my anxiety was the day I stopped seeing it as an extension of myself.

A lot of people wear their anxiety like a badge of honor, and honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s great that we’re talking about mental health more openly. But there’s a fine line between normalizing it and letting it define us. You wouldn’t say, “I have cancer,” and then do nothing about it. The same goes for anxiety. Acknowledging it is step one. Step two is figuring out how to keep it from running your life.

If you have what is called “high-functioning anxiety.” To most, It looks like  you have it all together. You could have a stable job, a nice  supportive family, and steady relationship with your partner. From the outside, it all seems solid. But ironically, those very things—Over-responsibility, perfectionism, the crushing weight of keeping it all together—are what fuel a lot of your anxiety.

The weight of appearing in control is, at times, your heaviest burden, it’s exhausting.

For introverts, this experience is even more complex. The expectation to navigate an extroverted world and maintaining composure can be overwhelming. Many of us are barely holding it together.

Sometimes Keeping up the image of having your “act together” is exhausting

In a society that prizes productivity and outward composure, those with high-functioning anxiety often receive praise rather than concern. When you’re recognized at work for being dependable and calm under pressure. Inside, though, your mind is in overdrive, analyzing every detail, anticipating every possible mistake. This isn’t resilience—it’s survival mode.

High-functioning anxiety is a pattern rooted in cognitive and physiological responses.

Research shows that chronic anxiety activates the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, leading to hypervigilance and stress.

The body, in turn, remains in a prolonged state of fight-or-flight, increasing cortisol levels and disrupting sleep, digestion, and immune function. This cycle, if left unchecked, can contribute to long-term health issues, including cardiovascular disease and burnout.

So how do we break free from this cycle? Here are six strategies, backed by psychology and lived experience, to manage high-functioning anxiety.

Observe Your Thoughts and Interrupt Negative Loops

Anxiety thrives in unexamined thoughts. Many of us experience a relentless internal monologue filled with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. Research on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) suggest that observing these thoughts—rather than being consumed by them—can weaken their hold.

Over time, I’ve gotten better at spotting the warning signs. Most times, I can keep it in check. But sometimes, it still sneaks up on me. It starts as a dull pull, a creeping urge to avoid things. That’s when I know I need to pause, breathe, and give myself some grace, and take that signal to slow down. Sometimes that’s enough. The real skill comes in realizing when it starts to get out of control to be able to identify the triggers. Take it easy on yourself, slow down, and take a moment to breathe and recalibrate.

Sitting with your thoughts forces you to listen to them without immediately believing them. When I started sitting with my mind instead of running from it, I realized something: My brain was a fear factory, mass-producing worst-case scenarios that never actually happened: Treat your thoughts like background noise. If your brain is playing the “You’re Screwed” soundtrack on repeat, recognize it for what it is—just a bad playlist. You don’t have to dance to it.

Some people also do this by practicing mindfulness meditation. Research published in JAMA Internal Medicine found that mindfulness-based interventions significantly reduce anxiety symptoms. Practicing this consistently can rewire the brain’s default response to stress, offering long-term relief.

Write It Out Before It Writes You Off

When I first attempted journaling it felt weird,  I didn’t expect to see patterns. I found that most of my anxiety stemmed from “shoulds.” I should be more productive. I should be more confident. I should have things figured out by now. And when I failed to meet these imaginary standards, I just give in.

Journaling is more than an emotional outlet, it’s a psychological tool. Journaling helped me separate fact from fiction. Once I could see my thoughts on paper, they lost their power. They were just stories I’d been telling myself. And stories can be rewritten.

If you’re someone who often process emotions internally, journaling provides clarity and validation. Instead of suppressing anxious thoughts, writing them down allows for pattern recognition and cognitive restructuring. Over time, this practice fosters self-compassion, replacing harsh self-criticism with understanding.

Find Community in a Way That Feels Right

You don’t need large social circles, but connection is still crucial. Studies on loneliness indicate that social isolation worsens anxiety symptoms, increasing stress hormone levels and even shortening lifespan. The key is finding community on your terms—whether through small, meaningful friendships, online groups, or listening to podcasts that validate your experiences.

Podcasts and books by mental health professionals can be particularly helpful. For example, The Anxious Achiever by Morra Aarons-Mele offers insights into balancing high-functioning anxiety with professional success. Online communities, such as those found on Reddit, Facebook, or dedicated mental health platforms, provide spaces to engage without the exhaustion of face-to-face interaction.

Channel Anxiety Into Creative Expression

Studies on art therapy show that engaging in creative activities—whether writing, painting, or playing music—reduces cortisol levels and enhances emotional processing.

Anxiety is just misdirected creativity. If you can imagine every possible disaster in vivid detail, congratulations—you have an incredible imagination. Now, it’s time to put it to better use.

Whatever your outlet is—journaling as a cognitive reset, painting, music, woodworking, interpretive dance—find it and use it. Anxiety is relentless, but creativity is a great counterattack.

For introverts, whose minds naturally gravitate toward introspection, creativity provides a structured outlet for otherwise overwhelming thoughts. Writing, in particular, is a powerful tool. A study in Frontiers found that individuals who engaged in expressive writing showed lower stress levels and improved immune function. Whether through personal essays, poetry, or even fictional storytelling, externalizing emotions in a creative way provides both relief and perspective.

Prioritize Restorative Self-Care

Start treating self-care as maintenance not just something you do to reward yourself. You wouldn’t run a car on an empty tank, so why do you expect your mind and body to function without rest?

Research from the American Psychological Association highlights the importance of activities that promote parasympathetic nervous system activation (the body’s “rest and digest” mode), such as yoga, nature walks, and deep-breathing exercises.

For you, self-care could mean learning to say no. No to social plans when you needed solitude. No to work obligations that stretched you too thin. No to the guilt that told me I had to earn rest. The moment I stopped treating downtime as a luxury and started seeing it as a necessity, everything changed. The goal is to balance social engagement with solitude, ensuring that alone time is restorative rather than just an escape from overstimulation.

Build Self-Compassion as a Foundation

Anxiety feeds on false beliefs. If you want to break free, you have to deconstruct everything you thought was true about yourself. Perhaps the most transformative shift for managing high-functioning anxiety is adopting self-compassion. Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in self-compassion, emphasizes that treating oneself with kindness rather than judgment leads to lower anxiety levels and greater emotional resilience.

The hardest but most liberating thing I’ve learned? You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone. Not to your boss. Not to your family. Not even to yourself. Your value isn’t tied to how productive, composed, or “put together” you appear. Once you truly accept that, anxiety starts losing its grip.

Being Okay With Not Being Okay

Instead of seeing anxiety as a flaw, recognize it as a signal—one that can guide you toward self-care, deeper understanding, and ultimately, growth. The process of healing isn’t about eliminating anxiety but learning to coexist with it in a way that no longer dictates your life. The challenge isn’t just managing anxiety—it’s unlearning the belief that worth is tied to productivity and perfection. The true measure of success isn’t in appearances but in how at peace you feel within yourself. And that, ultimately, is worth striving for.

It won’t happen overnight. You’ll slip up. You’ll have bad days. But that’s part of the process. Healing isn’t about becoming anxiety-free—it’s about learning to coexist with it without letting it call the shots. So take a breath. You’re already doing better than you think.