Have you secretly been comparing yourself to other women and feeling terrible about it, to the point of hating yourself?
It’s common struggle (if not daily struggle) among almost all women of all ages. Apart from the weighty feeling that comes when a woman notice another woman who seems prettier, younger, funnier, curvier, slimmer, or more successful, it becomes even more challenging due to the media’s focus on specific types of women, body shapes, races—basically whatever they consider the “ideal” beauty standard.
It’s really difficult to tune out when this kind of messaging is everywhere. And then there’s the situation where men openly comment on someone’s attractiveness or make similar remarks around women, making it even harder to overlook. Not to mention when your partner openly appreciates other body types in a sexual manner that aren’t like yours—it’s really tough to brush off. When everything around you seems to be catered to something you’re not, it’s just really tough to ignore.
Keeping these thoughts inside is not only stressful, but it’s holdIng you back from building confidence, it’s filling up a lot of your mental space and blocking your progress.
First Things First,
Our brain tends to run this default program that’s been shaped by years of cultural influences whenever these thoughts pop up. The more you make an effort to question and challenge that default program, the less power it holds over you. This means you can gradually introduce a fresh and healthier version of thinking into your mindset. Rewiring your thoughts to align with what works for you.
Understanding that comparison is the thief that steals joy, and if you want a shot at happiness, you need to stop focusing on others and start loving yourself.
Of course, it takes work to get out of that mindset. It’s so easy to compare yourself to others when it’s hard to see what you can/already doing really well. However, if you’re serious about upgrading your life, there are simple, yet not so easy steps to help you make life intresting.
Just Let Go of The Excess Weight
More than building and adding things to your life is letting go and flushing out the weight. This includes feelings of unworthiness, fear, pain from your past, etc. That way you can open your heart to things that serve you, that makes you unique.
Our minds and hearts are like a computer’s hard drive. Sometimes, painful experiences can leave behind “corrupted files” of negativity, self-doubt, or hurt. Just like a computer, these corrupted files can take up valuable space and slow things down. Before you can introduce something positive and new into your life, you need to flush out those corrupted files, just like you’d clear up space on your hard drive.
By letting go of the pain and negativity, you’re essentially creating a clean and open space in your heart and mind. This creates room for new experiences, positive emotions, and personal growth to flourish, just like you’d download fresh and useful software onto a cleaned-up computer.
And just like a cleaned hard drive runs more smoothly, a heart and mind free from past pain can function better and welcome the good things that life has to offer.
Acknowledge Diversity, Appreciate it, and Find What Makes You Unique
Stop trying to fill up all the voids in your life, instead find what makes you shine.
The reality is that you’ll find women who are better than you in any area you can think of. Women getting jealous of other women is as silly as it sounds. You need to accept and acknowledge the fact that you’re not a jack of all trades, who’s going to be good at everything. Instead of bringing yourself down for what you can’t do, find out things you can do better than anyone else in your circle, focus on your values and strengths.
That’s one way to be attractive, that way you’ll become valuable to your personals, such as friends, romantic relationship, and life in general.
Draw Inspiration From Other Women
Instead of feeling envious of other women, consider them as sources of inspiration. Some women really have a knack for dressing well, so why not take a page from their book? This is one of the most valuable quality that every confident women embrace. Personally, I’ve gained a lot from adopting this mindset.
For example, if you’ve been thinking about giving your wardrobe a fresh look, you might come across a woman who dresses in a way you admire. Or perhaps you find people who can speak different languages intriguing. If the idea of learning multiple languages appeals to you, why not give it a shot? It’s all about personal growth and self-improvement.
However, don’t confuse inspiration with jealousy, they’re quite distinct. When you’re jealous of someone for having something you don’t, it leads to feelings of insecurity and inferiority, often spiraling into resentment and distress. On the other hand, drawing inspiration from someone and seeing them as a role model means you’re genuinely motivated. Just ensure that your admiration doesn’t become excessive or unhealthy, as with everything, do things in moderation.
Consider Social Media Detox
Speaking of drawing inspiration from other women, which is great, but you also need to be cautious of who you look up to or you might end up chasing an unattainable idea of “perfection.”
If social media the problem, consider stepping away from social media. It’s way too simple to start feeling like your life isn’t measuring up, especially since everyone tends to share only the best parts of their lives online (while leaving out the not-so-great stuff).
If you have to, clear your social feed, stop following influencers, celebrities, and such, that doesn’t impact you life. You don’t really need to see every detail of how they live their lives or how privileged they are. Instead switch your focus to brands, social handles, and other entertainment that motivates and enrich you.
Prioritize What Matters to You
Prioritization is a continuous process. It’s about making intentional choices that reflect your values and lead you towards a fulfilling life.
Let’s be honest, you can’t be sure you’re spending time on the right things if you don’t know what the right things are.
That’s why getting clear on what’s most important to you is so important because it helps you make decisions, manage your time and money wisely, ease your stress, experience a healthy life balance, feel confident, experience a healthy life balance.
However, prioritizing what matters to you involves a blend of introspection, organization, and focused action. Here are few tips to help you navigate this process.
Reflect on Values
Start identifying your core values and beliefs. What truly matters to you? It could be your relationships, personal growth, career, health, creativity, or a combination of factors.
Clarifying your values provides a foundation for decision-making.
Then define your short-term and long-term goals. These could be related to different aspects of your life such as career, health, relationships, and personal development. Having clear goals helps you direct your efforts efficiently.
Review your current commitments and activities. Are they aligned with your values and goals? Sometimes, we need to let go of certain obligations to create space for what truly matters.
Set a time audit to understand how you’re spending your days. Are you dedicating time to what matters most, or are you getting caught up in less significant activities? Overtime, you might need to adjust your schedule to align with your priorities.
Practice Saying No
Learn to say no to tasks that don’t align with your priorities is important. Politely say no to invitations or projects that could divert your focus from what matters most.
Create a Plan
Break down your goals into actionable steps. Create a plan that outlines the tasks you need to accomplish. This makes your priorities feel more achievable and less overwhelming.
Make use of time management techniques such as the Eisenhower Matrix (urgent vs. important) or Pomodoro Technique (time blocking) to allocate time effectively to tasks that align with your priorities.
Minimize distractions that prevent you from focusing on what matters. This could mean turning off notifications, setting specific work hours, or creating a designated workspace.
Prioritizing yourself. Take care of your physical and mental health through exercise, relaxation, and activities that rejuvenate you.
Discuss your priorities with friends, family, or a mentor. Their perspectives can offer insights and guidance, helping you make informed decisions. Having a network of like-minded people can provide encouragement and accountability.
Life is dynamic, and priorities can evolve. And it’s okay to make adjustments along the way, while still staying true to your values. Prioritizing is an ongoing process. By being intentional, making conscious choices, and aligning your actions with your values and goals, you can create a life that is more meaningful and fulfilling.